Episode 77: Stephynie Malik

Entrepreneur Conundrum Podcast

Episode Summary

Stephynie Malik is a crisis and business consultant.

EC 01   |    4min

About The Guest

Spin It! is a podcast hosted by award-winning Crisis Expert, Business Strategist, and Founder of SMALIK Enterprises, Stephynie Malik. At Spin It!, our mission is to inspire listeners to see failures and obstacles as stepping stones for success. It’s all about how you spin it! 

After starting her first company with just $1,500 and a cellphone, Stephynie is now one of the most sought-after crisis and business consultants for companies like American Express, Nike, LinkedIn, and more.

 

https://stephyniemalik.com/
https://linktr.ee/stephyniemalik

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] VIRGINIA: Welcome to entrepreneur conundrum with Virginia Purnell where growing entrepreneurs share how they get visible online. 

[00:00:08] Hi everyone. Today I’m talking with Stephanie Malik about being a crisis and business consultant. Spin it is a podcast hosted by award-winning crisis experts, business, strategist, and founder of S Malik enterprise, Stephynie malik at spin it. Their mission is to inspire listeners to see failures and obstacles as stepping stones for success it’s all about how you spin it after starting her first company with just $1,500 and a cell phone, Stephynie is now one of the most sought after crisis and business consultants for companies like American express, Nike, LinkedIn, and more. Welcome, Stephynie. 

[00:00:45] STEPHYNIE: Thank you so much. 

[00:00:47] VIRGINIA: I’m excited to have you here today. 

[00:00:49] STEPHYNIE: Thank you. 

[00:00:50] VIRGINIA: So it’s after starting your first company. So how many companies are you on so far? 

[00:00:55] STEPHYNIE: Well officially, my name is on five and I’ve helped with [00:01:00] another four. Those are the ones that I started myself or with an associate, as far as companies that were public or that were funded. I’ve been a part of 11 global startups. 

[00:01:12] VIRGINIA: Wow. You sound busy. 

[00:01:15] STEPHYNIE: Yes. Between that and the kids. It is very busy, 

[00:01:19] VIRGINIA: right? Feel free to throw tips in on that one if you want it. So what inspired you to become an entrepreneur? 

[00:01:27] STEPHYNIE: You know, I wish it was more of an inspiration type thing at the time. Really? It was, it was completely out of need. I was very young. I was a single mom and I couldn’t meet the metrics that needed to be met, to continue to compete at the level that I was, that I was heading into. So I was heading. To several vice presidencies. And I was a single mom. I was very young. She was very young and I couldn’t do the happy hours. I couldn’t do the weekends away. I couldn’t do the off sites. It just got increasingly [00:02:00] more competitive to constantly be present at work as you kind of move in through director to vice president, to senior VP. So along with that happening, my paycheck. Continued to mostly stay the same. And I was closing very large deals. We were doing deals with like with Oracle and with Siebel and with Scient and Viat and clarify, we were doing multi-multi multimillion dollar deals yet my paycheck stayed the same. And so I knew what we were bringing in as far as a dollar value. And I knew what we were establishing from a co technology and a co partnering deal. I myself was not reaping any of the benefit of this. And some of the things that I continued to hear along the way is gosh Steph you’d make such a great consultant, you know? Oh, wow. Thank you for showing us how to do this. It’s so appreciated. So appreciative. We’re so sorry. We’re so appreciative. Thank you for showing us how to do this. You really should think about going out on your own and [00:03:00] the thought of going out on my own was so daunting. My father had passed away when I was a baby, my mom and I had no relationship whatsoever. I was a hundred percent on my own. There was no plan B. There was no fallback. I couldn’t, you know, move in with some girlfriends. If it didn’t work out, the thought of not having medical insurance was terrifying. So wasn’t so much an inspirational thing. Truly. It was more of needs-based. I have this skill. I have this time. I have been told enough times I’m really, really good at it. I need to make a go of this, if not for me, for her. So I’m able to have more time, not be so exhausted and be able to actually bank on myself and my skills and my talent. 

[00:03:44] VIRGINIA: So, did you just take the leap at, or did you stay at corporate while you built up the other one? 

[00:03:50] STEPHYNIE: I did a Little of both. I did. I did it maybe a year and a half of still working, but taking on small consulting jobs. So really kind of [00:04:00] solving one massive problem. So, you know, here’s a workforce optimization tool who are our best strategic alliances. And why is it co is it co technology deals? Is it co-branding deals as a white labeling our product? Finding the best way, whether it be a channel or a direct relationship to sell those problems were very, very easy for me to solve because I had maintained such strong relationships within the industry, living in Silicon valley, kind of being bi-coastal between Silicon valley and New York. For most of my tech consulting career. I had amazing relationships. So sometimes it was a phone call or it was a dinner or lunch to be able to solve a huge problem. So I was really doing kind of six to eight week gigs. Some of them were three months. Some of them got extended into, you know, a secondary project. I did that for about a year and a half. And then I just took a minute and I essentially just said, I have to go all in and truly, truly [00:05:00] do this, or stop talking about it. The stress of running it through my head as many times as I was running it through my head was almost worse than actually just doing it and failing. And thank goodness when I did it. I didn’t fail. 

[00:05:12] VIRGINIA: Kind of like a bandaid like ripping the band-aid off, always like the anticipation is way worse. 

[00:05:18] STEPHYNIE: That’s Exactly. Right. That all the thoughts that I had in my head weren’t even near of what happened. So I think it just made it very catastrophic in my head because obviously when you have a little one too, depended on you for, you know, food and shelter, it becomes bigger than yourself.

[00:05:32] VIRGINIA: Gives you a really good way. 

[00:05:33] STEPHYNIE: Well, it gives you an amazing why, if it, if it works out and if it doesn’t work out, it gives you a massive, why not 

[00:05:42] VIRGINIA: true. So you work basically two different areas with, in your company. So you have the crisis side and then you have the consulting side, correct? 

[00:05:53] STEPHYNIE: Yes. 

[00:05:54] VIRGINIA: So are they, I’m assuming they’re different avatars then when you. are looking [00:06:00] at them. 

[00:06:00] STEPHYNIE: Yeah. That’s a great question. Yeah. So we have three lines of business. So we have a consulting business that primarily does entrepreneur consulting and high impact coaching. So this is your top 1%. These are really, really, really strong. Business people that want to get to their highest and most peak performance in running their company, their talent in the best way possible. So we do business consulting and executive coaching or entrepreneur coaching for them. The second line of business is actual pure business consulting. So what is your product? What is your. Who is your audience? Why do you think that’s your audience? What are your key differentiators? Why are they your key differentiators? And then essentially, what is your pivot plan? So how do you either attain more business by creating additional services? Or how do you pivot into maybe a new geography, et cetera? The third line of business is crisis management. This is not. Crisis [00:07:00] communication. This is crisis management. So mostly we deal with white collar crimes and we are different because our clients stay 100% out of media at a paparazzi. We handle very, very significant financial crimes. We Do a lot with high wealth and high visibility family law cases around maybe divorce or custody. And we do a lot around what’s next for them after this crisis has happened. So there’s still a consequence involved and there’s still the regular proceedings with whatever agencies like the FBI or the CIA or the sec, it’s just handled outside of media and paparazzi. So you’re able to handle it within your own family and professional environment.

[00:07:49] VIRGINIA: Help take the added stress or the extra stress off. 

[00:07:52] STEPHYNIE: Right. I think that visibility just creates so much stress within the family. If you’re a husband, you know, your wife starts [00:08:00] feeling a lot of pressure at school pickup and drop off for the kids become, you know, embarrassing and can be a three ring circus. If you’re a husband and your wife has done something, you’re managing your workflow and you’re managing. What projects and what, what peer group you’re in at the, at your office all the time. So it’s just, it’s really, it’s, it’s really painful for the people that are around you as much as it is for the person who, you know, possibly had the, in judgment at the time.

[00:08:27] VIRGINIA: So how do you get in front of each of your individual avatar on those your ideal clients.,

[00:08:37] STEPHYNIE: uh, for our crisis clients to date, it has been word of mouth. So thinking about that, we have been referred by a couple private equity firms. And we’ve been referred by board members and venture capitalists who have maybe an officer that is not acting responsibly. We’ve been referred out [00:09:00] by high wealth advisors and family offices when they have come across something and their dealings with the family or an individual or a corporation where they’ve said, Hey, I think you’re going to need these services. We go out and we have 65 global attorneys that we work with asset managers and financial advisors. And so we put together a super, super strong team based on personality, based on whatever the allegation or the offense happens to be. And so 95% of our business comes from somebody who’s either done business. With us previously or someone who knows exactly what we do and know the level of concierge service at this client is going to need that’s for the crisis side for the business consulting side, because I spent a good part of 20 years in Silicon valley, grew up professionally through a lot of firms that were there. I have a really solid relationship. With [00:10:00] people who have spun out different companies who have gone public or who have, have risen through the ranks and now become, you know, vice-president president or, or an investor. And so a lot of times they understand what I do from, from an executive or an entrepreneur coaching standpoint or from a business consulting standpoint. And so I’m referred or recommended a lot. The business is fairly new online. And so we have done all of the things in the last, you know, four to six months to become as visible as we can online. But from an overall relationship standpoint, it’s been all relational thus far. 

[00:10:40] VIRGINIA: It’s amazing how much the relations can really play a key role in business.

[00:10:46] STEPHYNIE: Absolutely. Absolutely. 

[00:10:48] VIRGINIA: So is there kind of like a technique or a tip that you wish more of your clients knew about. 

[00:10:56] STEPHYNIE: I get asked this question quite a bit. And I [00:11:00] it’s, it’s a very difficult question for me to answer, because I think so much of what we do is meeting our clients exactly where they are. So I’ve, I’ve bought into this theory for such a long time. If you help everyone, you help. No one. It’s been really difficult. It was difficult for me when I started creating courses last year, you know, we got asked so many times, can you create a great, excuse me, can you create a course on, on scaling your business? Can you create a course on being present with no presence? Can you create a course on getting back to work and being, you know, being, having so much gratitude, but operating with psychological safety, we got asked so many different times. On how can I create a tip or, or what’s some good advice I could give. And, and I would really just say the best thing I can tell you is. Information without application is just noise. So don’t jam a bunch of [00:12:00] information in your head. It’ll paralyze you take it in small chunks or, or small bites and see what you’re able to do about shifting the behavior that you currently have that maybe you don’t like, or maybe that you want to intentionally grow small, intentional shifts. You know, I say this all the time. If the titanic. Had moved three degrees, just three degrees. They would have missed the entire iceberg. So it’s not so much all of these rapid changes where people get super, they get very misaligned, they get anxious and then they ultimately feel like they have failed, or they feel like they’re going to fail because they tried to implement and integrate too many things into their life without slowly. Focusing on intentional, very small shifts. So I would say that would be my biggest piece of advice. Make slow and steady, consistent shifts. 

[00:12:54] VIRGINIA: So what are some of your big goals that you’re looking to achieve over the next one to two years? [00:13:00]

[00:13:00] STEPHYNIE: Big goals. So I started writing a book. 

[00:13:02] VIRGINIA: That’s exciting 

[00:13:04] STEPHYNIE: It will be, if I can just get past the first chapter, I’ve changed it so many times. Let’s see. We, I think I told you that we started put publishing courses, so we are going to do 10 courses. We have done three so far. It’s actually interesting because the reason why we’re doing this is a little different than some of my peer group that have put out courses. I had a really, really hard time deciding if I was going to do this or not, because I feel like so much of business modeling so much of strategy. So much of what I do is really getting in deep in the trenches with my clients, but I almost felt a bit disingenuous creating a course. And then I started talking to some of my mentors and some of the people that have been influential in my life. And everybody said Steph this is such a great way to get to know you understand your business [00:14:00] model, understand your structure like a lot of times executives, or a lot of times entrepreneurs have a really hard time when they start coaching with me or they start consulting with me because I do things so differently than any other. Coach or consultant that I know I come from both sides of it. I’ve I’ve already done tech. I’ve carried a bag. I’ve been in sales. I’ve done demand gen I’ve done lead gen. I’ve grown a company. I’ve taken a company public I’ve spun a company out. I’ve done mergers and acquisitions. There’s a lot of information there. So slow dripping content to somebody that really wants to learn and understand. As a first level to be able to get in, to make true changes in their life, the best way for me to do it was through courses. So I’ve done a series of 10 we’ve released three, and I think the rest of them will come out, you know, between now and next March. So the courses are next. And then I would say, We’re going to be [00:15:00] revamping our speaking engagement model. So we’re going to be actually looking at making truly inspirational changes with the type of things that we actually go out and speak to, whether it be at schools and colleges, universities, but also within the workshops with the corporate environment on how to lead more thoroughly with our heart, but also to understand what your talent needs to be retained and developed. 

[00:15:25] VIRGINIA: Those sound awesome. 

[00:15:28] STEPHYNIE: Thank you. 

[00:15:29] VIRGINIA: I like your vision. So when said I had to, and you’re talking about like, with your courses, but you weren’t sure. Cause like you work more one-on-one you could always do group coaching. Have you ever thought about that? 

[00:15:39] STEPHYNIE: Yeah So two of the courses that are out actually come with group coaching.

[00:15:42] So, so I have to in group coaching, I’ve never done group coaching online. I shouldn’t say never because I actually just did it, but I haven’t, I haven’t. Yeah. Experience of a group coach. What I’ve done group coaching in is in-person. So there’s been a lot of group coaching and changing that model to give people the [00:16:00] autonomy, to be able to join from their living rooms or their offices has just proven. Amazing. The, the information that they are learning, not only from the course, but from each other, the dialogue, the workbook my my team did such a fabulous job in designing it. So it’s graphically pleasing. We didn’t throw it together. We spent hours and hours and hours really, truly developing what would be pleasing for those entrepreneurs that are spend so much time in front of their screen. You know, what is this going to look like? How do we make this almost like a, a manual or a Bible as your foundational foundation for success. And so we really thought about all aspects of, of the course. So the course is not only the content and the videos, but it’s also a very well thought out workbook. And then it comes with group coaching as well, which is over a 12 week timeframe. We also do. We get feedback on the work. So as you turn the work in, we give feedback on [00:17:00] it. So it’s not just you flying blind where we discuss it once a week, we actually say, why don’t you make this change and this change. And if you were able to make these two or three changes to this, this could actually be a business plan, or this is what we would consider a pivot model. And we actually make it so that that work is not busy work, but it’s actually work that they’re going to be utilizing through their business, 

[00:17:22] VIRGINIA: which is super helpful for each of the people going through it. Because then it’s totally getting stuff out of it. So how would those goals change your business 

[00:17:32] STEPHYNIE: for me? My biggest, why is inspiring and impacting is many people demographically, as I possibly can. So, you know, when I started, when we started the show, you mentioned the podcast, I fought this podcast for so long. I didn’t want to be part of the noise. I didn’t want to confuse more people. You know, it confused mind always says no, [00:18:00] and I didn’t want to be part of the confusion. I wanted to be part of this solution. And so four or five years ago, people were saying Steph you should start a podcast. You really should do it. Or they were coming back and saying, oh, 30 minutes I spent with you literally changed the way that I do business. And I fought it and I fought it and I just didn’t want to become part of the noise, part of another voice out there telling them to do something else. And so I kind of sat down and really established what my five-year plan was. Every single crisis client that I’ve worked with in the last five years have looked at me with tears running down their face and said, you changed my entire life. Even though they did get a consequence, even though they did have some, you know, you can’t create it, you can’t do a crime. And then, and then not, you know, pay the time, whatever, whatever that’s going to be, you can’t do it and not have a consequence, but the thoughtful way in which we [00:19:00] move people through this journey. When you have people in front of you literally thanking you so much for paying attention to them and spending the time with them, same with our business consult. When you walk in and you have to deliver crushing news, when you have to say, Hey, you know, there’s not a bridge loan or, Hey, you’re not going to get funded or Hey, you know what? We need to bootstrap this because you know, there’s no more money left when you have to deliver that difficult information and you have a team. Of entrepreneurs or you have a team of executives that buckle down and do this with you, the amount of fulfillment, even if it’s something bad, the amount of fulfillment and, and overall. Sense of belonging to something bigger than you is unbelievable. So when I kind of looked at my goals of inspiring and impacting as many people as I possibly could, I, I’m only one person, you know, I have a team of [00:20:00] 12 and they’re only a team of 12. We run a global firm. We needed to do more and more was being able to go online more, was being able to go on more platforms, more was, you know, sitting down and developing a YouTube strategy, like who would ever think that I was going to do a YouTube channel or have a YouTube strategy more was the podcast more was investing in myself and in the company to be able to make people believe in themselves because believership within yourself and humility is the pillars of actual entrepreneurship and leadership.

[00:20:38] VIRGINIA: It totally is. And even when you took that leap of, let’s say, leave faith to go out on your own, you still had to believe in yourself, even though all these other people believed you. 

[00:20:47] STEPHYNIE: Yeah, that’s a great point. I mean, you have to just, you have to go out and for me, there was no option of failure because I didn’t have anything to fall back on. I didn’t have parents, I didn’t have a giant, you know, savings set [00:21:00] up. I had a baby and, and, and she was my why. And so there was, it’s actually funny thinking back on it now, like there wasn’t even an option of. What if this doesn’t work, there was just no option about that. This is what I’m doing, and this is just what I’m doing. That was it, 

[00:21:17] VIRGINIA: which is probably why you did so well, 

[00:21:19] STEPHYNIE: maybe. 

[00:21:20] VIRGINIA: So do you think there’s a roadblock of what do you think it might be? That’s kind of maybe stopping you from necessarily reaching some of those goals that you shared with us. 

[00:21:34] STEPHYNIE: So if there is any roadblock at all, I would say the roadblock was not knowing what I don’t know. So I made a ton of. Errors when I moved the business online. I mean, I could, this is a whole other podcast. I can’t even tell you the amount of things that I didn’t know, you know, think about it. When I started [00:22:00] my consulting firm, I didn’t, there was nobody knew what SEO was. There was no SEO. There was no LinkedIn. There was no Google AdWords. There was no Facebook. There was none of these things. And so I horribly assumed that it would be much easier to do now. And, and, you know, I had never thought about a copywriter. I had never thought about a Facebook ad strategy. I had never thought about w I didn’t even know what a real was. So there was all of these things. That were presented to me that I didn’t know how to vet. And therefore, if I gave you the dollar amount of what was spent from my own personal savings account for all of the errors that I made going online. Uh, it would, you, you would be stunned. And I, and I made it wasn’t one. I made error after error after error so I remember my, one of my very first few clients was trying to pay me online. And then I had done [00:23:00] everything that was asked. This is before I hired my amazing operations team. But, but this was just me doing it. And how do you run, you know, 11 global businesses? How do you take. Businesses, public. How are you on deal teams of mergers and acquisitions for billions of dollars and you can’t set up Stripe or PayPal? Like it was, it was crazy. And, and I, I did it. I went through it and I did all of it. And, and, you know, you wait for the review and you wait for all of these different things. Well, guess what? I didn’t connect an international gateway. And so I lost out on $25,000 where someone flagged my business. As fraud because I didn’t have an international gateway, but I didn’t even know that I needed an international gateway. So, and that that’s one thing there’s there are so many things with copywriters. We chose copywriters and they were 10, 15, $20,000 for copywriting I know it, I would do everything that worked kind of, you know, if you were in front of me, I’d be doing air quotes. I did everything that worked in the real world. We asked for references and [00:24:00] we got, you know, websites and we got content that they created. And I didn’t realize how difficult it was. To actually vet these type of people. I didn’t realize how other people stole content. I didn’t realize that it was very difficult to get somebody on the line to actually have a conversation about what, what was so great about this person. And so I continued to make big errors around, around funnels. I made errors around payment gateway systems. I made errors around platforms that I chose to communicate with. Uh, you know, like in my platforms that I chose for invoicing and payments and, and, you know, communications to my teams. It was error after error after error, because I just didn’t know what I didn’t know.

[00:24:47] So those would be my roadblocks moving forward. Although I have a pretty darn good global team now that are saying. As my eyes and ears, and I’m constantly learning and asking a ton of questions. The [00:25:00] block has been, I haven’t really known what to ask, to get me the answer that I require to be able to make good, solid business decisions until you know, the last couple of years, 

[00:25:11] VIRGINIA: it’s kind of crazy how much different the online world is from the brick and mortar aspect hey

[00:25:16] STEPHYNIE: right. And, and I mean, I think that was really, I mean, if you, if you talk about a mindset thing or if you talk about imposter syndrome, that was really it like stepping back. I grew a multi, multi multi-million dollar firm. Okay. I did it with. One employee two 11 employees to 60 employees, to 130 employees to 400 employees all over the world. We were in 22 global locations. My first quarter, I billed $2.3 million with a laptop and a cell phone. So being online should be easy, right? The platforms, the ease of connection. The being able to get information quickly, the beautiful color coded amazing spreadsheets and you know, Deb Sato and a sauna [00:26:00] and Trello and slack and hive and Monday, and everything is at your fingertips. right Well, the platform is only as good as the person who is utilizing it. And online business is so different. One of the other big errors I mean, this is just, you could just call this a Stephynie Malik error show. 

[00:26:21] VIRGINIA: Excellent. 

[00:26:22] STEPHYNIE: Yeah, exactly. One of the other big errors that I made was, I didn’t know, like, I didn’t want to pay a lot of money for branding. Everybody kept going, oh yeah. You’re going to work on your personal brand. Oh yeah. That’s great. Your personal avatar. Oh yeah. And they were saying all of these things and I was like, no, no, no, no. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to add to the noise. People know who I am. Like I write solid deals. Like I’ve written over a billion dollars in deals. Like I’m not trying to get out there and, you know, do a brag Fest. I’m not trying to be out there, you know, posting. Pictures in a club or being a VIP or standing next to a Lamborghini. It’s just not who I am. And so I don’t want to be part [00:27:00] of the noise. And so I didn’t work on my personal brand because obviously I thought these people that are going to be my clients and my future clients are going to know where I came from. That’s credibility within itself. What business coach or executive coach or crisis expert, can you sit down with and have an hour or two or three long conversation about not only their wins, but all of their failures as well? So I was doing a piece for Forbes a few months ago, and they said like, what, what advice would you give to somebody looking for a business coach or an executive coach? And I said, I didn’t even think about it. I said, the biggest advice I would give is sit down and talk to your business coach about how and where they failed and they should be able to rattle those off to you very easily and very quickly and telling you how they were able to solution those areas and how those areas are never going to happen for you because they learn so much. And he said, I’ve done this for 16 years and I’ve never, ever heard that. And I said, oh, just pick a topic. And I can tell you where I failed. I got six [00:28:00] clients from that segment from just that segment because they were like, wow, she was willing to talk about that. Yes. I’m willing to talk about it. I don’t ever want that to happen for you, 

[00:28:09] VIRGINIA: which is so considerate and helpful. Right? Like it’s nice to show that you’re real too. 

[00:28:14] STEPHYNIE: Yes. I have been accused of being real a lot of times. 

[00:28:19] VIRGINIA: Well, in this day and age, some people aren’t real. 

[00:28:24] STEPHYNIE: Right, right. There’s that? 

[00:28:27] VIRGINIA: What would you say would be the best advice that you have ever given. 

[00:28:31] STEPHYNIE: Protect your time 

[00:28:32] VIRGINIA: That’s a good one. 

[00:28:33] STEPHYNIE: Yeah. I think that as I get older and you know, I know a lot of people and there’s a lot of really great people and I’ve learned so so much, but there are always those people that want to, you know, quote pick your brain for a minute and four hours later, they’re still picking your brain. You know, I do a lot of giving back. I do a lot around service. I do a lot around my kids and my [00:29:00] kids’ schools and their just social, emotional growth and who they are becoming as, as adults. And the biggest thing is no matter how many millions, billions, trillions of dollars you have, you can not pay for more time. And so protect your time at all costs. Understand your intentions. I was speaking to a younger client last night. Who’s a little bit, who’s feeling a little bit sad right now, and a little bit depressed and she’s spending more time scrolling through social media and, you know, nothing, nothing bad. Just kind of like you know, trying to get a little motivation, trying to get a little bit of empathy, trying to get a different perspective. And so we modeled it and I essentially told her, I said, I’m going to guess that you’re probably on social media, two to three hours a day. I’m going to say that. Okay. And I feel very confident when I say that let’s just take one hour. Let’s take one hour of [00:30:00] of, and remember, this is not like scrolling, looking for something. This is just mindlessly scrolling, seeing what everybody else is doing. What’s coming up on your feed, et cetera, et cetera. If you spend one hour a day, every day of the year, one hour, that’s 15 days of your life. At the end of the year that you’ve given to social media that you’ve handed away I look back on that. And I think of the people that I’ve lost in the last year or two, what would those people do for two full weeks back whose life would they be able to touch or inspire? What gift would they be able to give of time and, and information and knowledge to somebody that loved them? So, so much. So one hour of day of mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook or whatever, you know, with massive amounts of FOMO or feeling sorry for yourself or having, you know, like getting riled up because of [00:31:00] the news and everything that’s going on one hour a day equals 15 days of your life at the end of the year. And that’s just not something I’m willing to do. 

[00:31:09] VIRGINIA: That Totally puts it into perspective. When you say it like that. 

[00:31:13] STEPHYNIE: That’s what she said. She said Oh my God. Two weeks. And I said, yeah. And remember I calculated an hour, not three. I know exactly what you’re doing and she literally just burst into tears. 

[00:31:24] VIRGINIA: That’s a whole quarter.

[00:31:26] STEPHYNIE: Exactly. Exactly. It’s crazy. 

[00:31:30] VIRGINIA: Wow. So that’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? 

[00:31:35] STEPHYNIE: I hate to say this. Cause I know that this is going to add no value to your listeners because this has been on so many different podcasts, but I’m going to say, this is the truest thing I can tell you. I, and I, and I want to change it. I want to find something else. I want to find something, you know, newer and more inspirational. But the number one piece of advice that I was given that has that I think of probably 10 times a day. And it was given to me over [00:32:00] 30 years ago is if you surround yourself by giants you become giant. If you surround yourself by toxicity, you become toxic. And when I mean by giants is I’m not talking about. Bill gates Warren Buffett, Elon Musk. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about giant with their perspective and the way that they live their life that has to align with you. So it can be money surround yourself with giants. It can be, you know, care, empathy, impact, surround yourself with that. But what doesn’t change is toxicity. So if you are aligning yourself with non-supportive. Toxic people, the people that just are negative or bring you down or make you sad or make you doubt or make you feel inferior. Really the people that just don’t build you up and don’t invest in you. That’s when you become texted, I’m sorry. That’s when you become toxic and [00:33:00] negative minded, that is the best advice anybody’s ever given to me. And even to this day, I tell my kids that then it becomes more about evaluating. So within our family, loyalty is really, really huge. But as you know, when you move through different. Pieces in your life. So, you know, from, from grammar school to middle school, middle school, to high school, high school, to college college, into a career career and to marriage at different points in your life, you have different time to share with people. Sometimes you have a lot. Sometimes you have a little bit. And so really thinking about evaluating, who you’re spending time with and intentionally spending time with those people that are going to push you to the next level, your measurement of success, not theirs, your level and measurement of success. Is the best advice I’ve ever been given by anyone 

[00:33:53] VIRGINIA: yeah. Puts you in the positive direction, 

[00:33:56] STEPHYNIE: Your positive direction, not theirs. What your [00:34:00] wanting for your life in a positive manner. Like, you know, again, I’ll just, I’ll clarify. So for example, I had a really good friend who was brilliant. She was beautiful and brilliant and smart and funny, and she was amazing. And she really, really, really wanted to be a speech pathologist because of something that had happened to her in her childhood. And her dad was a million percent on set on her becoming a lawyer. He was like, Nope, you’re from a family of attorneys. This is what you’re going to do. Attorney attorney, attorney. Well, somebody else looking at that from the outside, they would be like, well, that was a. Because she’s not trying to get her to do something crazy. He’s trying to get her into law school because this is kind of their family legacy. She wanted to be a pathologist. She didn’t care about the prestige. She didn’t care about the money. She had a greater why. And so a lot of times people say, oh, they just really wanted what’s best for me. Yes. That’s very, very true. And that can be taken as positive, but the measurement of success needs to be you and how you see value and show value within yourself 

[00:34:58] VIRGINIA: because otherwise you’ll never [00:35:00] match it there’s expectations everywhere. You’ll never be happy if you do. 

[00:35:04] STEPHYNIE: That’s right. 

[00:35:05] VIRGINIA: I like those. Thank you. 

[00:35:06] STEPHYNIE: Yeah. 

[00:35:07] VIRGINIA: One thing I did want to ask though, so if you don’t know what you don’t know, do you have any tips around that? 

[00:35:15] STEPHYNIE: Oh boy. Do I have tips around that? So I do have tips around this. Um, I’m um, I want to keep this as, as G-rated as possible. I would say, find out who the biggest. Now, let me take it back. Find out who the best is. Find somebody who has been there and done that. Find somebody who can be a mentor. And you know what I’m going to say. I’m going to tell you this pay for it. Like absolutely 100% pay for it. So many of my mistakes were made at the beginning because somebody goes, oh, let me just go ahead and do that for you. Yeah, I’ve done it for 10 years or, or, you know, what, oh, I used to work for. And then they would name their long list of very, very popular coaches or consultants [00:36:00] or, you know, oh, you know what? I used to be on Tony Robbins funnel team. And let me, this is really easy for me. I’ll knock it out for you in two to three days. And I was so honored and I was so privileged and I was like, oh my gosh, That makes me feel so good. Thank you so much. That’s exactly what I would do for somebody else, but then it never really came to fruition. So you would always get back-burnered or the funnel would come and it wouldn’t be right. It would, you know, there was so many problems around doing this. If I had just sat down and, and paid for a guru, paid for a mentor, paid for a coach in these areas that I was lacking in so profusely, we would have already hit our $10 million mark. So. I didn’t do that because I, I, it wasn’t arrogance. It was really, truly, I don’t want to waste somebody’s time. Like they’re going to have me as a client and they’re going to be like, wow, you, you probably know more than I do. It wasn’t arrogance at all. It was like, it just didn’t feel like I wanted to waste anybody else’s time. And it was the number one [00:37:00] biggest mistake that I made was not hiring an online business coach who specifically knew all the things to know about funnels and about ads and about avatars and about, you know, creating our application differently. Like people actually feeling special within the nurturing process. All of these things that I just didn’t know had I had listened to the people around me that were there and willing to mentor and yeah, they were expensive. They were very expensive, but I would have been so, so far ahead of where I currently am, which I’m very blessed to be where I am, and I have an amazingly strong team and we’ve really crushed it. And. Out of the ballpark in the last couple of years, but just the time we wasted as kind of a bummer, just because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. 

[00:37:48] VIRGINIA: Yeah. It’s amazing how sometimes we balk at paying for someone’s expertise. 

[00:37:54] STEPHYNIE: Right. And again, like I said, it truly wasn’t arrogant if I would’ve, if I would’ve hired somebody to do, like, if [00:38:00] somebody would’ve said, oh, you know what, Stephanie, you need three funnels. I would’ve gone great. Find me the absolute best funnel expert. It wasn’t that it was, it was, I know how to run a business. Just tell me what I need and then I’ll get the resources to, to do those things as opposed to having a business coach or coupling or partnering with a business coach that does online strategies on, Hey, what’s the most important thing for you? For me, my most important thing was impacting and inspiring as many people as I possibly could. And also to maintaining my emotional fortitude with my kids. So making sure I could cut out time, but people were always, still feeling very served and highly touched and that they were actually not in this alone. And I didn’t know. That I needed that for myself when it was online, I underestimated how that it’s a complete antithesis relationships online to relationships in person. And I really, really am, am a [00:39:00] strong advocate of not learning the hard way. Like I did 

[00:39:02] VIRGINIA: well, I hope everyone that’s listening takes that advice.

[00:39:06] STEPHYNIE: Me too. 

[00:39:10] VIRGINIA: Well, I really appreciate you being here with us today. 

[00:39:13] STEPHYNIE: Thank you so much for the time. I really, really appreciate it. I wanted to offer a special gift for having me on. We just recently finished one of our premiere courses and it’s called E P E, which is executive presence elevated. So if your listeners want to go to Stephyniemalik.com and let me spell the first part for you S T E P H Y N I E. M as in Mary, A L I k.com forward slash elevated. So just like elevated E L a V a T E D elevated. So stephaniemalik.com/elevated. We’re going to do [00:40:00] a promotion code for you and give your listeners 20% off the course for the next two weeks. And the promo code will be podcast. And they can put that in and download their course immediately and join our waitlist for group coaching. 

[00:40:16] VIRGINIA: Aw. Thank you so much. 

[00:40:18] STEPHYNIE: Thank you. 

[00:40:19] VIRGINIA: So is there Anything else that you wanted to share with us that I haven’t asked you yet. 

[00:40:26] No, I don’t 

[00:40:27] STEPHYNIE: think so. I think, you know, protect your time, surround yourself by really good strong people remain a constant and curious student in everything that you do. There’s so much to learn out there. And there’s so many ways that you can give back, just be an overall amazing human and really focus hard on your business for your own legacy.

[00:40:50] VIRGINIA: I like it, so true. Hey, well, thank you again. 

[00:40:59] STEPHYNIE: [00:41:00] Yes. Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:41:01] VIRGINIA: Hopefully we’ll be able to keep in touch and maybe have you on again in the future.

[00:41:07] STEPHYNIE: That sounds lovely. Thank you so much. 

[00:41:09] VIRGINIA: You’re welcome. Have a great day and we’ll chat soon. 

[00:41:11] STEPHYNIE: Thanks. 

[00:41:13] VIRGINIA: Thank you so much for joining us today. Be sure to subscribe and leave some love through a review and I’ll catch you on the next episode.

 

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/virginiapurnell/VirginiaPurnell

Funnel & Visibility Specialist

Distinct Digital Marketing

(833) 762-5336

virginia@distinctdigitalmarketing.com

www.distinctdigitalmarketing.com

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Virginia Purnell

Virginia Purnell

Virginia lives in Northern Alberta on a small farm with her husband and three children.  

Virginia is a master funnel builder having been certified as an FG Society Master Marketer, Funnelytics, and ClickFunnels Certified Partner.

She also helps businesses with their visibility through online searches.

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